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Bulimia Recovery #6 - "I FEEL FAT!"
March 14, 2011
Hi,

"I Feel FAT!"

How many times has that thought run through your head? Too may to count? Okay, in the last 24 hours?

You get the idea... "feeling fat" is a very common bulimic thought...

I remember getting up some days - feeling okay. Not good, not bad... Then I'd weigh myself...1/4 of a pound more than yesterday... BANG... "I feel fat"

So, what does "I feel fat" actually mean? Does it mean that you are fat? Of course not...

For example...

I remember going shopping with a good friend of mine - Lisa. As far as my days went back then, I was feeling pretty good. I was walking confidently around the mall and had noticed a few boys looking at me... I actually felt a little sexy!

After an hour or so of window shopping, Lis and I decided to try on some outrageous clothes. Skanky clothes I guess you would call them... Spice Girls Numbers! Lisa looked amazing in almost everything... She had a tiny frame and a flat bum - something I had always admired (and on occasion had tried to achieve using extra thick sellotape!) Needless to say, I wasn't overwhelmed by the look of the clothes on me. In fact, I had to get a size up from everything Lisa tried on.

Progressively as this shopping trip went on, I felt worse and worse. I began to feel fat.

By the time I got home at lunchtime, I had decided that I needed to lose weight. I wouldn't eat again until dinner.

Of course, this restriction resulted in an almighty binge, followed by watering eyes, a burning throat and a head in the toilet.

All because I allowed myself to feel fat!

As you can see from this example, feeling fat is just that... A feeling!

I had felt sexy in the morning - but by the afternoon, I felt fat. Of course, my body hadn't changed... But, my state of mind had.

Feeling fat is often a result of thinking in extremes... Black and white thinking which bulimics are famous for...

Here's some black and white thinking that I remember using often...

  • I have put on weight therefore I am fat
  • I don't fit size 8 pants therefore I am fat
  • I have a pimple, therefore I am ugly
  • I got a B+ therefore I am stupid
  • I ate an extra cookie therefore I am fat

The amount of black and white thinking that was going through my head was astonishing... No wonder I didn't recover until I tackled this problem!

 

How can you stop this all or nothing, black and white thinking?

Try to notice when you think in this extreme way. Catch yourself out and think "ah-ha - an opportunity to take action!"

Then, try to think of what a non-bulimic, normal eater with a healthy self esteem would say to themselves in the same situation...

For example, let's go back up to the story above where I felt fat after shopping with Lisa...

Because I didn't fit the same size as Lisa, my thoughts went along these lines...

"Lisa is thin, I am fat, I need to diet, so won't eat again until dinner"

Not fitting the same clothes as Lisa had made me feel fat, which led to restricting and ultimately resulted in a binge/purge cycle.

A normal person's thoughts would have gone more like this...

'Hmm I don't fit the same size as Lisa, better try a larger one - That's okay Lisa has always had a tiny frame'

This thought would allow you to continue your day, feeling good and eating according to your bulimia recovery structured eating plan.

 

So, in summary...

1) CATCH your thoughts!

2) TAKE action and challenge your thoughts by thinking the way a healthy person would think!

 

Change Only Happens When ACTION is practiced!

It's easy to read helpful tips like the one above - but change will only happen if you take ACTION! You could read all the self help books in the world, but, if you never took action on them, you could be living on the streets, desperate and depressed. On the other hand, you could make a successful and happy life for yourself by taking ACTION on just one or two important pieces of advice.

 

To help you practice action, I've got a small challenge for you...

1) Open up a text editor on your computer... Word, text edit or notepad will do...

2) Think of the last 'black and white' thinking you had. The last time you deemed yourself as fat, useless, stupid, incapable, etc...

3) Write down at least 3 different examples - Or, as many as you can think of - in your text editor...

4) Think of what a person with a healthy relationship to food and themselves would have thought in the same situation...

5) Write this healthy thought beneath the unhealthy thought...

6) Select the entire exercise and copy it...

7) Prove your commitment to action by clicking here to paste and share the exercise with our bulimia recovery community...

8) Try to catch yourself whenever you use black or white thinking and replace that thinking with healthy thoughts.


The Latest Stories and Inspirational Articles On My Site:

IMPORTANT NOTE: These links may have been "cut in half" by your mail reader. As a result they may no longer work. To see the page you may need to copy and paste the entire url into your browser all the way from http:// to .html at the end.

 

Remember, you are worth so much more than the number on the scale! Be kind to yourself :)

xox Shaye

 

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