8 years and going of hell
Hi there, I am 23 and have been bulimic sine i was 15. I dont even remember the first time I discovered purging but i wish i never had as every day i feel guilty and like this is the one thing in my life I cant control. Today i decided im going to get help and decided to google 'how to beat bulimia' and I am going to make it work. I am a health professional and I feel I should know better but cant stop and i feel so ashamed to tell anyone.
My mum suspected i was throwing up when i was younger as the toilet would get spots of food all other it - and of course i became sneakier some of the things like putting toilet paper down to cover the oil left in the toilet, running taps for noise, waiting until everyone was gone and even walking down to the park to use their toilets - grosse. After I eat something bad if I am not in a place where I can vomit i feel so anxious i cant concentrate on anything else but spewing it up. Afew months ago I did weight watchers and lost about X kg - so my bulimia has gone into overdrive lately as i am worried about putting the weight back on, spewing up to 6 times when im at work. My boyfriend is also starting to suspect it as he heard me the other day when he was in the shower.
Its really cool to read everyone elses stories and know there is a way out of this ...... watch this space today is going to be the last day I've purged!
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