7 and alone
(Folsom, Louisiana, US)
As a child I would often seek help and knowledge from books. I was a very thin child actually! I often heard stories of my mothers disordered eating and soon began to notice it for myself. One of my brothers would often pick on me and call me fat. This was just the beginning. At around the age of 6 my mother would drag me to various exercise classes at the YMCA or Jazzercise. I was also involved in classic ballet and as we all know the demand is for a ballerina to be thin. At the age of 7 I made myself vomit for the first time. Slowly but surely this process began everyday. Sometimes 10-12 times a day. I kept up this regiment until the age of 17 and then began restricting myself of any and all food. I was only allowing myself to ingest a gallon of green tea a day. I was also working out for hours on end. I thought I looked amazing but looking back at the pictures I was terrifyingly thin. This behavior went on for years. I am now 29 and I am still bulimic. I need help. I really need help. One day I will hopefully be cured of this disease.
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