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23 years of marriage

I need help and some guidance. After a great date night with my wife of 23 years ( which we needed) When we came home, she was telling me she was feeling a bit dizzy, my first comment to her was, it was the last glass of wine, and we laughed. Not thinking much of her walking in to the bathroom, after five to ten minutes and asking her if she was ok, her response was “YES NO MORE WINE FOR ME” when she came to bed she was in tears.
I could tell something was wrong, I asked her what was bothering her. She then told me for the first time “I have an eating disorder” And for the first time in our marriage I was speechless, shocked, felt betrayed, felt alone, felt A LOT of PAIN. How could this be, who is this woman I have spent the best years of my life with. She then told me, that for the past 30 plus years she has been throwing up after she eats.
Wow, how could I be so blind? In my opinion she is not underweight, she is 5’2 around X and has kept that weight plus or minus X pound for the longest. At first when I had all those thought’s, I knew it was not about me, and that I had to put them aside and listen, we talked till five in the morning. She told me it started when she was in middle school; she started it to keep her weight down.
So this is where we are at now, a day has gone by and we have not talked about it again. We have two wonderful daughter’s (24 & 15) and have been able to overcome many hurdles in our family. I know this is something I / we need some help with. But where do I start?
In reading some of the other posts (in tears) I thought, why not start with writing a brief memo.

Thank you for your time!
23 years of marriage

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program