22 years of on and off again binging and purging
It all started my senior year in high school when some one thought I had a pillow on under neath my haloween costume - and I didn't. college was the worse - I'd binge on beer and chineese food and puke my guts out. I maintain this image of health. I do yoga, I drink kale and blue berry smoothies. Its like I have this double life. I've always been ashamed to over eat but I cant stop. I feel like puking is like a back up...i can eat pizza drink wine have chocolate and then just puke it all up. I dont want to do this anymore but I cant stop. I have a 5 year old beautiful girl and I would just die if she ever did this to herself. I mean I would be over the moon devestated. I dont want her to experience this at all. I have to stop for her. I need to gain control. Im not skinny and not really fat either. I've been in uber good shape I've gone years with out binging but its on and off again and I just want to turn it off forever.
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