10 Horrible Years
I need you help so so so so bad. I've been bulimic for over 11 years now ( being 21 now). So i guess i kind of started off at the age of 11, but until 2 years back it was never this bad. It kept on coming and going back. But one thing for sure, i just can not recall being a normal eater EVER. Either i was consumed by anorexia or in the vicious cycle of bulimia. I throw up OVER 10 times in a day and it turned this bad after my father's death two years back and because i broke up with the guy i loved so bad for 6 years right a week after my dad left me. I wake up , eat , puke. Come back from the bathroom, eat, puke. And the cycle goes on till i'm so exhausted. I even became insomniac and if i wake up in the middle of the night, i sneak into the kitchen, gulp down every possible thing i can , even raw meat and throw up and go back to sleep. My mum and my siblings got a clue cause it is way TOOOO much food going missing on daily basis ( the fridge from being full to going empty till the next morning ) . PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me. I even got my teeth fixed and still been continuing PLEASE help me or i'll die. While i'm eating, i keep on making up stories about how i need to go use the bathroom. i SPEND all my money of food , i shop-lift eatable stuff. I'm just the worst case EVER. i need your help or i might not see the dawn crack the next morning. Please help me!!!!
I am so sorry for what you have been though precious girl. Bulimia is not easy, experiencing loss is not easy - you have been through a lot.
I know sometimes it feels like you are 'in too deep' to make a full recovery - but I promise this is not the case. You can recover - you can beat this. You can become a normal eater.
I am not sure what sort of help is available to you - but if you could find a therapist or a counselor, it could be very helpful in your journey. You might also be interested in the online recovery program that I run - which you can learn more about at www.overcoming-bulimia.com
So much love,
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